The Gossip Girl Reality Index
Every Tuesday morning, the previous night's Gossip Girl is broken down by New York Magazine - which played a prominent role in last night's episode, oddly enough - and assigned scores according to its patented "reality index."
Below are some of the highlights (and lowlights) from the magazine's analysis of "Bonfire of the Vanity." Leave a comment at the bottom with your own!
- Nelly Yuki would not have expensive accessories like that and still wear those hideous glasses. Blair simply wouldn't let her! Minus 4.
- Rufus Humphrey describes Agnes' mother as "more Courtney Love than June Cleaver," which is exactly what his references would be. Plus 1.
- Dan says he "killed" the New York story. Oh, yeah, that story about a billionaire committing murder/arson? Yeah, we can skip that one. No worries! Minus 10.
- Blair Waldorf's little group friends are so nervous planning her birthday party that their laughs sound like shrieks of terror. Plus 2.
- How long does Serena have to stare at the phone smiling after getting Aaron's text message? Minus 1.
- Jenny and Agnes' fights are so classic teenager, down to Jenny's accusation that Agnes was "acting out." This is why none of us had careers at 15. Plus 2.
- The angles at which they filmed the scene with Serena and Cyrus were hilarious. It was like she was a giant and he was, well, Wallace Shawn. Plus 2.
- In the scene where Agnes went crazy, Jenny would have fought way harder. She just stood there as Agnes dumped lighter fluid on her dresses, and then went, "What are you doing?" as Agnes stalked around for 20 minutes trying to light a match. Jenny had enough time to drop a dump truck on her face. Minus 6.
Share
31 CommentsRelated Posts
- Gossip Girl Recap, Quotes, Music Round Table & More!
- Gossip Girl Review, Music, Quotes, Round Table & More!
- Who's the Hottest Gossip Girl Couple?
- Gossip Girl Episode Titles, Names
- We've Moved to TV Fanatic!
November 17th, 2008 7:36 PM
IF I DON'T GET BC ACTION IN THIS NEXT EPISODE
I'M GONNA DO WHAT DOES BLAIR WHEN SHE DOESN'T GET "THAT" FROM CHUCK SERIOUSLY! hahaha lol they MAKE ME FEEL SO HAPPY
AND YEAH JENNY IS SO STUPID :)‼
GO B/C!!
BEST COUPLE EVER
November 13th, 2008 10:54 PM
I know! If I was Jenny, I would've pulled out her freaking hair and burn it with the lighter! I mean what Agnes did was down right cruel! And Jenny just stood there. C'MON.
November 13th, 2008 1:07 AM
i guess it's not blackmail dan was admitting to. ha ha ha.
November 13th, 2008 1:05 AM
i don't know if i liked dan and serena. i always thought that nate and serena looked good. together. just looked. nothing else.
and why the heck does jenny need to 'divorce' her parents? that bugged the hell outta me. you went to school for how long and you can't forge your parents signature? duh!
and for cindy lauper and cyrus to know each other? ummmm? how rich is this character excatly? and when did cindy lauper become relevant again?
and do you really think that bart bass would actually be sitting on the couch reading some seventeen year old's story right after the kid just admitted to the attempt of blackmail?
i do love that dan admits that he has the 'have to be right attitude' that he gets from rufus. and that blair is always trying to be old hollywood (audrey hepburn, grace kelly) but i totally agree, this episode was just a holder episode to the next one. p.s. even though the previews make it seem like nate is going to leave, didn't this site tell us that daddy archibald bail on the family? whadda jerk eh?
November 12th, 2008 11:30 AM
It's obvious Jenny should've attacked Agnes. I was watching it Monday sitting there saying when is she going to hit her, and she never did. Um hello, if someone if trying to ruin your "only chance" you don't sit there and let them. As for Serena, what's happening to her. She must be in love with Aaron because only starry eyed girls like that won't see he's no good for her. Personally I always liked Dan and Serena.
November 12th, 2008 6:23 AM
that's a good theory, exept vanessa and jenny aren't speaking i think because she saw her with nate and they haven't sorted that out? it was like she was totally on the streets, then she woke up in a sofa. anyone have any ideas?
November 12th, 2008 2:52 AM
Well im not sure but....... Im guessing sure in "Gossip world" Jenny called Vanessa then she "secretly opened the gallery so lil J could sleep safely and not in the cold November NY streets" . If thats not the answer , sorry im pretty clueless
Latz upper Eastsidders
*Even though Vanessa wasnt in this espisode :p
November 12th, 2008 2:34 AM
someone pleasee answer me,
WHERE WAS JENNY SLEEPING ON THE COUCH WHEN SHE CALLED THE BUSINESS GUY?
i know someone said the gallery, but what gallery? where was she?
anyway, this ep was not entertaining.
Jenny and did not even notice or mention that nate wasn't there, even though she was kind of dating and crushing on him? did she just forget who he was? -20
Jenny waiting around and saying "nooooo" while anges burt her clothes? she could've taken her clothes out of the bin or tackled agnes, but she just stood there, immobile, screaming. doesn't make sense. -15
Serena greeting Aaron in her nightgown every time? -5 and going out dressed like that coz she's trying to be a hardcore artist? -5 and serena agreeing to date aaron while hes dating other chicks? can you spell STUPID? -10
Bart being decieved by a 17-year-old and instantly revealing he killed someone? hes smarter than that, hes meant to be a freaking hugeeee business owner! -9
on the plus, blair's funny quotes +10
jenny does the 'agnsty teen' thing well +5
November 11th, 2008 10:29 PM
whaaat was jenny doing just standing there.
Agnes took 985048583 years to burn her clothes!
Jenny could have just taken them out of the bin.
MINUS 10.
November 11th, 2008 8:31 PM
i agree w/ bellamy. this episode was pretty boring
and wt happened to nate? i was looking forward 2 that.
and the last point is so true, jenny rly could have just grabbed the clothes and went on w/ her fasion career.
hopefull the next ep. is better cuz i LOVE GOSSIP GIRL!!