Below are excerpts from the weekly New York Magazine plus-minus reality index of the previous night's episode of Gossip Girl, the greatest show of our time.
We've posted our official episode recap of "Dan de Fleurette." Now here are some highlights from NY Mag's completely arbitrary, uniquely hilarious analysis:
- We love the "Everybody Loves a Player" T-shirt on the RPG all-star at the coffee shop. Plus 3, because it's just so right.
- Okay, so Olivia Burke enrolls like three weeks after everyone else? Why? NYU probably wouldn't go for that, and even if it did, didn't she say she wanted a normal freshman experience? Minus 4.
- Of course Dan would willfully not know who the star of Eternal Nights was, even if she was a sexy starlet. Plus 2, with another Plus 4 for the name Eternal Nights, and its "King Arthur but with vampires" premise.
- Jonathan is at fencing camp in Torino? No way he'd get an extra month off of school before junior year. There are PSATs coming up, right? Minus only 1, because it's at least an appropriately gay sport.
- Rufus really does a great Lily impression. Plus 2, because he has to have something to practice when he's not knitting.
- Blair already had BW-monogrammed headbands ready? Plus 1.
- We're not ready for Chuck and Jenny to be so friendly and flirty at this stage. Yes, they're sort of related now, and yes, Chuck has changed. But the girl wouldn't simply forget an attempted date rape, even if it took place three seasons ago in a different borough. Minus 2.
- Tory Burch and Georgina Chapman are actually decent actors. Plus 2. The same cannot be said for Tyra Banks, who was basically terrifying. But that's kind of real in its own way. Plus 4.
- Vanessa: "I dated a guy who kept part of himself hidden. He never gave anyone a chance to accept him. And in the end, everyone lost." Minus 4 because THEY DATED FOR LIKE A WEEK.
- Hundred Acres is at least in the right part of town for Serena's plot. Plus 1.
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17 Comments
October 6th, 2009 10:56 AM
Vanessa: "I dated a guy who kept part of himself hidden. He never gave anyone a chance to accept him. And in the end, everyone lost." Minus 4 because THEY DATED FOR LIKE A WEEK.
LMFAO...YES THANK YOUUUU for saying exactly what I was thinking :D
October 6th, 2009 11:01 AM
dorota saying: mr chuck and i think.... plus 5! she likes chuck with blair
October 6th, 2009 11:08 AM
I disagree with the Chuck/Jenny piece. Chuck apologised to Jenny and Jenny and Chuck are siblings so it is understandable that they'd be friendly with each other.
October 6th, 2009 11:32 AM
DontEffWithAnEffer:
That's why she said dated duh she didn't say relationship.
October 6th, 2009 1:34 PM
"We're not ready for Chuck and Jenny to be so friendly and flirty at this stage. Yes, they're sort of related now, and yes, Chuck has changed. But the girl wouldn't simply forget an attempted date rape, even if it took place three seasons ago in a different borough. Minus 2."
Thank you! Thank you God it wasn't just me who noticed this! As a Chair fan, I am so pissed that in an episode where Chuck is declaring his love for Blair, they also include scenes with him checking out Jenny Humphrey's ass.
October 6th, 2009 3:00 PM
BlairCorneliaBass this is exact what I was thinking!
October 6th, 2009 3:19 PM
In Vanessa's quote : "I dated a guy..." . She means Nate?
October 6th, 2009 3:40 PM
@Monika Nope, it's believe to be referring to Scott (Humphrey?)
Vanessa: "I dated a guy who kept part of himself hidden. He never gave anyone a chance to accept him. And in the end, everyone lost." Minus 4 because THEY DATED FOR LIKE A WEEK.
LMAO oh geez Vanessa... What are we gonna do with you?
October 6th, 2009 4:05 PM
"So the next time you forget you're Blair Waldorf, remember I'm Chuck Bass, and I love you." -- I'M MELTING!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 6th, 2009 4:54 PM
I guess I was way off because when Vanessa mentioned dating a guy who kept part of himself hidden, I thought she was referring to Nate back when he was still "finding himself"...