The Tuesday Morning Gossip Girl Reality Scale
Below are excerpts from New York Magazine's reality index of last night's Gossip Girl, a column we post and link to each Tuesday morning that's not to be missed.
We posted our official recap of "They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They?" Now, some highlights from NY Magazine's nonsensical, but thorough and funny analysis:
- Okay, let's just cut right to the threesome. The Parents Council had nothing to worry about here. Plus 10 anyway, because Dan's drunk "I can't believe my luck" would-be sexy face was totally realistic; and because Vanessa's newly revealed status as a sci-fi geek makes her participation more likely.
- Why is Gossip Girl like so late on the Jenny vs. Eric feud, which began two episodes ago? We can't believe she'd slip like that. Minus 3.
- The nerd crew is awesomely indignant when Olivia tells them that Endless Knights IV isn't happening. "But Warner Bros. sent out a press release!" says one. "I'll never trust Harry Knowles again." Plus 3.
- Tripp hires Serena. Plus 1 because it was an idea only a man with a penis for a head, or a child who only cares about things that are shiny, would have.
- When Lily throatily said to Jenny, "You have your father's natural rhythm," Jenny should have recoiled slightly, because it was kind of gross. Minus 1.
- Nate on S and B: "Can you even fight about that?" Plus 1, because Nate is clearly wondering when he and Chuck get to have one of those "fights."
- Chuck stocks the elevator he locks S and B in with "single malt and macaroons." They're girls; obviously they prefer vodka and Twizzlers. Minus 1.
- Jenny's middle name is Tallulah? No points, just ... yikes.
- Jenny, with her lack of jewelry and updo, wouldn't be allowed out of the house by Lily wearing that terrible black concoction with the feathery boob shield, much less those dreadful finger-only gloves. Minus 3.
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November 14th, 2009 2:50 AM
Minus 1000 for having Chuck on an intercom WITHOUT making a Charlie's Angels joke
November 12th, 2009 11:38 PM
I disagree on the vodka and twizzler... thats for regular girls, not Blair and Serena! pure malt and macarrons fit them perfectly!!!
November 11th, 2009 5:22 AM
I thought the same about Blair and those GIRLS! WTF?! Ok, she and Chuck may have an adult relationship right now but in the case of Chuck Bass you never know because well he's Chuck Bass! I expected at least a few bitchy comments from blair..and Jenny looked really pretty without all the eyeliner but the dress was horrible..
November 11th, 2009 2:51 AM
Minus 5 for the lack of reaction that Blair had when she saw the half naked girls with Chuck and Nate. I know they spoke about this and she trusts Chuck and there was even a comment that she's strangely calm, but still, I was expecting at least a line or two to humiliate those girls.
November 10th, 2009 8:49 PM
are you kidding? jenny's dress was all kinds of fabulous
November 10th, 2009 5:51 PM
ITA about the music and clothes for cotillon. It was appropriate for a party on GG but not for a debutante ball.
^btw, I believe that it is jenny's middle name from the book series. And I thought it was mentioned somewhere that Chuck's full name was Charles Bartholomew Bass, but I could be wrong.
November 10th, 2009 5:03 PM
I was also wondering when Chuck and Nate get to have one of these figths too! Although being boys maybe that's the reason why they don't fight like that.
And I totally agree with the fact that the music was not appropiate for a Cotillion, and that those finger gloves are not realistic either. Although I'm not so sure how much Lily can escold Jenny, because she is not her mother after all. Totally agree with the awesomeness of the geeks, with the plus 1 of Tripp hiring Serena, and with the comment that Chuck should put vodka or something else instead of scotch in the elevator with Serena and Blair (about the macaroons we have to remember that he brings those to Blair in the Season 2 finale, so she likes that stuff).
About Jenny's middle name, I was wondering if perhaps is in the books? Because I haven't read them, and before this episode aired I was reading a fanfic last week in which that was the middle name for her, which means whoever wrote that already knew that Tallulah was her middle name before the episode aired. Also they put Randolph as Dan's middle name and in several fanfics the middle name for Nate is Fitzwilliam and the middle name for Chuck is Bartholomew (I don't think that's ever being mentioned in the TV series).
November 10th, 2009 4:27 PM
@Melinda, I totally agree. I was thinking the same thing about how inappropriate the music was for the affair. In the last cotillion when the Pierces performed, that was perfect- contemporary and well suited to the event. That bitch band was blah. Terrible terrible lyrics too.
Also, I frickin hate those stupid finger gloves that Jenny's been wearing. Those are so impractical and just ridiculous! And I hope they never catch on.
November 10th, 2009 3:46 PM
i actually really like tripp and serena:) and dair!
November 10th, 2009 1:08 PM
I really liked the music on this episode and I also thought that "Bitch" did really fit into this episode BUT shouldn't this ball be classic and elegant? And a trashy girly band singing "Bitch" isn't a bit to funky for such an event! Just a thought..I bet CeCe would be really upset about that! ;)