Dan Humphrey Quotes
Dan: So, you guys wanna sit together at lunch?• Episode: Pilot • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Jenny: Come on, Dan, Serena said hi to you at a ninth grade birthday party and you've never forgotten it.
Dan: How could I? She was the only person who spoke to me.
• Episode: Pilot • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Dan: When Prince Charming found Cinderella's slipper, they didn't accuse him of having a foot fetish.
• Episode: Pilot • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Jenny: I mean, how could I have actually thought Chuck Bass just wanted to talk to me?
Dan: Becuase you trust people. Which is normally a good thing.
Jenny: Yeah, except when it involves Chuck.
Dan: Yeah pretty much
• Episode: The Wild Brunch • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Chuck: This isn't over.
Dan: Any time. That one black eye looks a little lonely.
• Episode: The Wild Brunch • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Blair: (Answering Serena's cellphone)Who dare interrupt the Van Der Woodsen as she teaches?!
Dan: Dan...Humphrey (As Blair and Serena argue about the phone in the background)
Blair: Sorry, the number you dialed is no longer is service.
Serena: Stop it, who is it?
Blair: I'm doing you a favor.
Dan: Look I can hear you. Can I just please talk to Serena?
Blair: Apparently you can, cabbage patch
• Episode: Bad News Blair • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Dan (explaining to Serena's mom why he never stops talking): I'm sorry. I don't know why I just said anything like that. I have, I have this thing, like a nervous tick. My mind never stops speaking, in like, ever. In fact when I was a little boy, my mom used to say there was never a word I met that I didn't like. You know what else I like? Your daughter. I, I really like your daughter.
• Episode: Dare Devil • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Serena: Wait.
Dan: What? What? Did I do something wrong?
Serena: No.
Dan: I knew the hair thing was too much.
Serena: No, actually, um...
Dan: Um? Um is never good. What?
Serena: (voice breaking) I, I'm scared.
Dan: Of me?
Serena: No! Well, yes. But, it's just...I've never...
Dan: You've never? You're not a...
Serena: No. No, I wish. It's just...nobody's ever looked at the way you just did. In fact, I don't think they looked at me at all. (covers her face with her hand) You think I'm crazy, don't you?
Dan: No. No, I don't.
Serena: Are you mad?
Dan: (smiles) Come here.
• Episode: Victor Victrola • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Serena: You know, we should talk about this though. About us. About eventually.
Dan: Definitely, yes. Yes.
Serena: Or we can just get it over with in a broom closet. (they both laugh)
Dan: In a broom closet? That is...that is rich, Serena.
• Episode: Victor Victrola • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
• Episode: Blair Waldorf Must Pie! • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 86
