Rufus: My son, the writer.Alison: Published writer.
Jenny: Yeah, you got your dream girl and you're star of the New Yorker. Maybe you should just die now.
Dan: It's true. I may have peaked.
• Season 1, Episode 11: "Roman Holiday" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dan: Hey, Mrs. van der Woods... Lily, hi!
Lily: Dan. Jenny.
Jenny: Hi!
Lily: Tree!
Dan: Yeah, um, they don't allow Christmas trees inside... which is why we're out here.
Jenny: Which is why Dan wants to ask from you a favor.
Lily: Let me guess. Does it involve distracting Dexter while you sneak that into the elevator?
Dan: Why, would that work?
Lily: No. Never. He has the eyes of a hawk and he takes his job very seriously.
Dan: So, I've noticed.
Lily: But Bobby at the service entrance, I think could be bought. Come.
• Season 1, Episode 11: "Roman Holiday" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Dan: (reading a Christmas card) This one is from the Smiths. "Seasons Greetings." It's very original.
Jenny: Their name is Smith, you don't have to be original.
• Season 1, Episode 11: "Roman Holiday" • Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Jenny: Well, keep dreaming. Maybe one day she'll actually know your name.
Dan: Yeah, maybe. And then I'll have something to be thankful for.
• Season 1, Episode 9: "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" • Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
• Season 1, Episode 9: "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Jenny: Everything okay?
Serena: I'm not sure. Dan surprised me by showing up here.
Jenny: Well, go Dan!
Serena: Yeah, except then he threw me through a loop by chasing after some girl named Vanessa.
Jenny: No, V's Dan's best friend.
• Season 1, Episode 6: "The Handmaiden's Tale" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jenny: He'd probably go anywhere with you. Except maybe the Ice Capades because that really freaked him out when he was five.
• Season 1, Episode 6: "The Handmaiden's Tale" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jenny: Let's play a game.
Chuck: I'd say strip poker. But I don't have any cards.
• Season 1, Episode 6: "The Handmaiden's Tale" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Blair: Martini.
Jenny: Oh, no thanks, I don't like Vodka.
Blair: Well thats great, because this is gin, as it should be
• Season 1, Episode 5: "Dare Devil" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Blair: Alright, who's ready for a game of Truth or Dare?
Jenny: Oh, I love Truth or Dare. Once, I had to eat an entire bag of marshmallows.
Blair: That's nice, Little Humphrey. But, um, that's not how we play
• Season 1, Episode 5: "Dare Devil" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 77
