Dan: I thought I'd get grounded when you found out, just like Jenny was. But, I gotta admit, it would be worth it.Rufus: I don't mind, at all. Tux looks great. Shoes look great. You look so great, you're gonna make me proud. Show that Celia Rhodes what us Humphrey men are made of.
Dan: What's going on, Dad? You're doing that thing again where you act really weird for no reason. It's kinda freaking me out.
• Season 1, Episode 10: "Hi, Society" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Rufus: Little over-dressed for an art show, don't you think?
Dan: Dad, listen, um, I've been meaning to tell you. I'm sorry.
Rufus: Don't worry about your mom, I'll take care of it.
Dan: You don't mind?
Rufus: No.
• Season 1, Episode 10: "Hi, Society" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Dan: So, uh, dad. Not that I'm... not that I'm mad, exactly. But, not telling me about Serena's mom? Extremely uncool.
Rufus: I should have said something, I know. And I'm sorry.
Dan: Given the "ick" factor alone, I'd say that you pushed my progress back by, at least, several months.
Rufus: Oh, come on. You're a Humphrey Man. No daughter of Lily's could ever resist.
• Season 1, Episode 9: "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" • Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Alison: I think we're splitting hairs here, Rufus. An emotional affair is just as bad as a physical one.
Lily: Oh, please. Nobody's buying that. Emotional affairs are necessary to keep a marriage alive.
Alison: And how many times have you been divorced?
Rufus: Alison, this is not about Lily. It's about you and me.
Alison: Exactly! And if we're going to have any chance, then she can't be here.
• Season 1, Episode 9: "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Rufus: So, you're not overreacting per se. You're just having a reaction that is so above and beyond what is appropriate.
Alison: I have been killing myself, trying to make up for what happened in Hudson.
Rufus: Which is not an overreaction, I might add.
Alison: And then I find out that the two of you are making out at a party.
Lily: Uh, it was hardly making out. And there's an explanation.
• Season 1, Episode 9: "Blair Waldorf Must Pie!" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Rufus: i thought he should know how it feels to lose you. Cause, trust me, it's not fun.
• Season 1, Episode 6: "The Handmaiden's Tale" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Rufus: Since when were you the patron saint of former rock stars?
Lily: Since when were you a rock star?
• Season 1, Episode 6: "The Handmaiden's Tale" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Rufus: (answering the phone) This better not be my wife.
Lillian: Rufus! You always answer the phone like that?!
• Season 1, Episode 5: "Dare Devil" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Rufus: So, what did you think about it?
Lillian: I thought. (Pause) It was extraordinary
• Season 1, Episode 4: "Bad News Blair" • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Rufus: I dated a girl like Serena, once. Actually a lot like Serena. And girls like that might be challenging. That's true. And they're complicated, and enigmatic. And usually worth it. And the only way you know for sure is to jump it with both feet.
Dan: What happened with you?
Rufus: I swam for a while. Till I drowned.
Dan: Oh. Well, thanks dad. That's a great story.
• Season 1, Episode 4: "Bad News Blair" • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 63
