Gossip Girl News (Page 19)

Every Tuesday, the previous night's Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine and assigned scores according to its arbitrary "reality index."

Below are some of the highlights, realistic and otherwise, from the publication's meticulous, hilarious of this week's episode, "The Serena Also Rises" ...

• Laurel: "Kirsten Dunst? So 2007. Her rehab barely made the radar.” Plus 2, because that is kind of totally true and Plus 5 for awesome bridge-burning. 

• How come Eleanor Waldorf lets teenagers decide everything for her? Minus 6.

• Plus 2 for Dan Humphrey, after all his chatter about getting out of his comfort zone and the bravado of punching the guy in the club, melting into a puddle of teen angst about how his dad will react the second he and Chuck end up in jail.

• Minus 1 for Jenny wearing a string of Jell-O cubes around her neck.

  

• Blair takes out her rage at being usurped by Serena on Jenny, perpetuating a centuries-old cycle of girl-on-girl bullying. Plus 8.

• Minus 3 because why doesn’t anybody ever rat out Blair to her mom? Is she the only one who gets to call in adults in case of emergency?

• Of course Bart hired a private investigator to follow Lily. Plus 2, and of course she didn’t end up caring once he gives her jewelry. Plus 2.

• Dan and Chuck in jail? No way. Cops never get called to exclusive clubs, and if they did, the perpetrators would never get arrested. Minus 4.

• It's about time the Blair vs. Serena jealousy-insecurity thing came to a head again. Plus 10 to Gossip Girl writers for putting that out there.

• The next episode teaser shows Serena and Blair at Yale. Could they be setting the stage for Gossip Girl to spin off into a college drama? Plus 5 for dreamers who dream dreams. But minus 5 because Serena would never get into Yale.

Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then assigned a score according to their staff's arbitrary but hilarious "realism index."

Here are some of the highlights, both realistic and otherwise, from the publication's meticulous analysis of week's show, "The Ex-Files" ...

• Plus 2 for Lily finally coming home. And an additional Plus 1 for the fact that her version of "caring" for her kids is overordering room service. Plus 2.

• Didn't they just befriend Nelly Yuki to bring her down? Why is she still hanging around? Is it seriously because the other Asian girl left the show? Minus 2.

• "Having to see him," Serena admits to Lily, "it's going to be hard." She seems so sweet and unsure, huh? Our immediate reaction was: "Aw, that's sweet. This will change." Plus 4, because we were so right.

• Wait, did Nate just randomly (and awkwardly) catch up with Vanessa on a random Brooklyn street corner? What, is Brooklyn Chelsea now? Minus 1.

  

• "Are those Tory Burch's last-season flats?" Blair asks. "I got them on sale?" the poor girl replies. Plus 3, because Blair's expression does not change a tic, but somehow gets TEN TIMES MORE EVIL. Leighton Meester is a genius.

• "I guess it's better to be ignored than tortured," Jenny says. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh, Lil J. Obviously, that's not true. Minus 2.

• Serena thinks it’s a good idea to try to be friends with Dan. "Friends eat lunch together," she says hopefully. Awkward. Also, completely realistic. Plus 5.

• This new "Amanda" girl is too aggressive. It's like she's up to something. Minus 2, because this should have been less obvious.

• Ha, Amanda is is kind of Hannah Montana–esque. Plus 1 for Jenny Humphrey, who is completely master of her domain this season.

• Dan says to Vanessa, "Look, V, I gotta go." What, he talks like them now!? Minus 2, because he's too self-centered to pick up on mannerisms of others.

With Monday's episode, "The Dark Night," Gossip Girl broke all its previous ratingss records, skyrocketing to all-time series highs in every category - including women 18-34 (4.2 rating / 12 share), adults 18-34 (2.7/8), women 18-49 (3.0/8), adults 18-49 (1.9/5) and total viewers (3.7 million), according to Nielsen.

Gossip Girl improved dramatically over all its previous highs (which came during the Season 2 premiere, "Summer, Kind of Wonderful"): women 18-34 (+27%), adults 18-34 (+17%), women 18-49 (+25%) and adults 18-49 (+12%).

Congrats to the writers, producers and cast of Gossip Girl on this news! It is no small feat to live up to the hype, but the first three episodes of Season Two have been totally awesome, and it's great to see people are tuning in.

Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then assigned a score according to the magazine's arbitrary, but hilarious "realism scale."

This week's show, "The Dark Night," measured -5 on the nonsensical system. Here are some highlights from the publication's Gossip Girl analysis ...

• OMG! Marcus punched Chuck! Nobody ever gets what they deserve on this show. Plus 4.

• All the women in this episode have sweaty, dewy cleavage but perfect hair and non-sweaty upper lips. How is that fair? Realistic, we mean. Minus 5.

• Nate's hair is better in this episode. It's less dry corn husk and more Greek statue. As it should be. Plus 2.

• We started hating those thin collars Dan was wearing two whole episodes ago. But now that they are button-down? Unforgivable. Minus 2.

• Speaking of Gossip Girl fashion disasters, that white Chanel belt totally made Serena van der Woodsen look pregnant. Minus 5.

• Blair: "Hot young guy, aging beauty having her last fling before the plastic surgery starts? It's called a cliché." Plus 5.

• "What names does he call you when you make love?" Honestly? What names does anyone call each other when they "make love"? In high school. Minus 2.

• We're so glad that Vanessa told Dan how The Duchess threatened her to get her away from Nate. If this were any other show, she would have, like, not told and made us wait until like the end of the next episode, like how they always tease that Lo is going to eat Audrina's live, beating heart out of her chest during every episode of The Hills, but it never happens. Plus 2.

• Dan thinks that the very existence of rich people who are advantaged is unfair and he can't bear to be with Serena because of it. Thatis the reason, we are led to believe, for their breakup. Minus 10.

• For a moment, when Blair sold out Nate to Catharine, we thought "no way." Then we thought better. Plus 1.

In Gossip Girl casting news, Wallace Shawn (the source of many funny Clueless and The Princess Bride quotes) is joining the show for a multi-episode arc.

The actor will reportedly play Cyrus, the father of Serena van der Woodsen's new boyfriend Aaron Rose (to be played by John Patrick Amedori).

If the series follows the Gossip Girl books, Cyrus will eventually marry the  mother of Blair Waldorf, Eleanor. Could be interesting ...

Each Gossip Girl episode is reviewed by New York Magazine, then given a score according to the publication's arbitrary, but hilarious "realism scale."

This week's show, "Never Been Marcused," measured an impressive +22 overall! Here are some highlights from the mag's Gossip Girl analysis ...

• "Oh My F'ing God!" Blair says when she discovers Nate and the Duchess on the floor. Nice nod to the show's OMFG ad campaign. Plus 2.

• Where the H are Lily and Bart? No business tycoon takes a whole summer off - even for something as romantic as a 4th honeymoon! Minus 1.

• Of course Nate's mom has no idea when he's coming or going. Plus 1.

• Dan and Serena board the Jitney and there are plenty of empty seats during the last week of summer? No way. Minus 2.

• Make-up sex is so much better when you're 16, because you're not actually pissed off at each other about real stuff. Plus 2.

• In another classic Blair Waldorf quote, she says, "It's like Roman Holiday but I'm Gregory Peck and he's Audrey Hepburn!" Okay, true, but we're wearying of the Audrey Hepburn schtick. Minus 2. 

• HOLY HELL NATE IS A MALE PROSTITUTE. This is the best turn of events we could have imagined. Chace Crawford was born for this role. Plus 10.

• Serena reads Nylon. Dude, no one reads Nylon. Minus 1.

• The Gossip Girl fashion designer has apparently decided to dress Vanessa in exclusively neon citrus colors. Why she is being so punished we do not know, but if Vanessa was real she would one day look back on a photograph of herself in that outfit and cringe. Generations have differences, but high school fashion mistakes are eternal. Plus 5.

Entertainment Weekly's cover story this week deals with Gossip Girl rumors - most of which are untrue, but all of which are fun reading about. Follow the link for the full story, but here's the short version of the rumors ...

RUMOR: OMG! Not enough people are watching Gossip Girl and it's gonna be dunzo after this season.
REALITY: A world without Gossip Girl is about as unlikely as Blair Waldorf wearing body glitter.

RUMOR: Now that she's social anthrax at the Constance Billard School for Girls, Jenny Humphrey is leaving Gossip Girl for her very own spin-off series.
REALITY: Little J isn't going anywhere — except maybe to the local craft store for some sewing supplies.

RUMOR: Blake Lively and Leighton Meester totally hate each other and the set is a big hot mess of backstabbing and hookups.
REALITY: While we've never seen the leading ladies braid each other's hair, the set is hardly rife with tension.

RUMOR: This year Gossip Girl will be a smorgasbord of raunchy sex, male prostitution, and lots of rich people doing very bad things.
REALITY: Um... actually, that's true.

Some brief Gossip Girl rumors (including what would have been a major one deunked) and news courtesy of TV Guide ...

Q: What does Season 2 have in store for Gossip Girl's Jenny and Chuck? I heard they might get together.
A: In the name of American Apparel, bite your tongue! Jenny Humphrey will be too busy toiling away at a dress form anyway, as Season 2 fleshes out her fashion-related ambitions, which may or may not include Blair's mom. The Basshole, on the other hand, will avenge the loss of the Victrola — that "classy" burlesque club in which he wanted his dad to invest — by turning his sights on an equally seedy Brooklyn venue, and with help from a very surprising ally.

If you thought "Summer, Kind of Wonderful" was great (and it was), wait 'til Monday, writes Entertainment Weekly's Michael Ausiello. See below ...

Q: The Gossip Girl premiere rocked! That's all.
A: Oh yeah? Well, next week's episode is even better. As I've said, the scene in the study between Leighton Meester and Madchen Amick is worth the price of admission alone. As for the Gossip Girl Season 2 opener - the ratings seem to be catching up to the buzz. Gossip Girl scored its best female demos and nearly set a record for viewers. To celebrate, here's some exclusive Gossip Girl gossip: I hear someone's going to come dangerously close to dropping out of school.

BRING IT: Sounds like some sort of confrontation between Catherine (Madchen Amick) and Blair (Leighton Meester) is on tap this week on Gossip Girl!

Looks like Dan Humphrey may have some serious competition.

E! Online reports that some new Gossip Girl characters have officially been cast, including former OC star Willa Holland, and even more significantly, a new love interest for one Miss Serena Van der Woodsen (Blake Lively).

According to insiders, John Patrick Amedori has been cast as Aaron Rose, who was a major character in the Gossip Girl book series.

John Patrick Amedori will play the character of Aaron Rose.

He's an artist who will serve as a love interest for Serena in Season 2, and he has a philanthropic side which gets "S" all aflutter.

Looks like storm clouds on the horizon for poor Dan.